At this time of year we all start to pick up as many of the manifestation booklets as we can…
I do them all
All of them
Reflect on the past year and get ready to dream your biggest dream possible for next year
And as every year, it happens that this year I feel like I am ready to commit to ME.
This year feels different though….
I have been through a lot of secret heartbreak and pain this year.
I have struggled with my Nanna’s death
I have been in situations where the Universe actively showed me what happens when you rely on other people’s boundaries instead of developing and RESPECTING your own.
I have questioned whether I was where I wanted to be in my life. Did I even want to be a mum? Do I truly want to be a lawyer?
There are questions that need to be answered, truthfully, if you want to start to get into your soul, when you want to really start to align with your purpose. These questions can be tricky and they can cause you to want to run away and hide. But this year has taught me that numbing out, running away, it just makes things worse.
And thankfully, the answers for me were, yes I want to be here, right here doing what I am doing.
(No I don’t want to be a lawyer – in case you were wondering)
But it was time for me to step up and start walking my talk. And so the Universe stepped in and ended some things that will ensure my growth continues to develop over the next year and beyond. It is a little scary and a lot exciting.
I no longer have a job that I can rely on to supplement us financially, my children are changing schools, I know I am not going to be pursing a career as a lawyer, I am releasing so much, detoxing my life…
From the release comes space….space for new. Space for whatever is supposed to come to me.
And that is scary too. But its even more exciting. It makes me shiver with nerves. And shake with anticipation. I am ready for this year of new, fun and exciting.
I am starting to feel into what it is I am meant to be doing. It was vague, but it is coming together….slowly!
I have become quite well acquainted with my shadows this year too, but that is another (and ongoing) post.
I have begun a process of learning about Islam this year, as well as many other religions and beliefs, and this has unlocked my spirituality and beliefs in a way I didn’t think possible.
I have made a huge decision to dedicate the next couple of years to learning. As much as possible. I am sure that this is what my life on earth (this time?) is about. Learning….but also feeling, being and doing.
My resolution for 2014 was simple :: Have Less. Do More. Be More.
I did, I did, I did. It was written for me, in some ways, that this was a special year of falling in love with myself again.
It was a big year. And one I will forever look back on as a turning point in my life. The year I realised WHO was in charge of my life. The year I realised WHAT I wanted in my life. The year I set my boundaries and the year I realised the freedom that comes in living and respecting those boundaries every day.
I am still working on my words for 2015. I am still undecided if I will have a resolution. It will come to me.
So for now I say fare ye well to 2014.
And welcome 2015 – I am so excited and grateful for what you will bring me.