I have found this to be the hardest post I have ever written.
Because I feel like I am judging people for judging people. And I dislike judgement intensely.
Hands up if you were bullied? Hands up if you did the bullying? Hands up if you stood by and watched it?
I was never really bullied (there were girls at school who didn’t like me, and it was generally mutual) but really I was lucky enough to escape that particular torment. I never bullied either (that I remember), but I saw it. And I sat back and watched.
The greatest acts of bullying occur when the crowd is indifferent and doesn’t use its voice to say ‘NO – this is not okay.’
And I am done with that.
There are young (and probably older) women in the world who don’t know who they are yet. They are struggling to find out what they stand for and who they want to be. They are told to be this, you should look like that. Don’t be this, make sure you are that.
How are we EVER supposed to find our truth and who we are with all this screaming around us? How can we connect with ourselves when even our most basic likes and dislikes are suddenly a new reason for society and corporations to label us, market to us and control us?
What these articles are saying is that I am a ‘basic bitch.’
Basic = Dumb; slow;
Because I like pumpkin spiced chai latte?
Sorry? Why are we even engaging with this?
There is nothing wrong with liking ugg boots. There is nothing wrong with liking clothes from Big W. There is nothing wrong with not liking those things.
But there is something wrong with making someone feel they are a less of a person because they do. (or don’t.)
And I know that this has come from women. I know that women are making a point, they are probably proud to be called a ‘basic bitch’. Much like I am happy to be known as an anti-corporation, hippy, world peace loving, gyspy soul.
But the problem, I feel, lies in the undercurrents and undertones of the words used to describe this new ‘type’ of woman. These words are not uplifting. They do not invoke a sense of love and acceptance. They bring with them the age old lower class protecting itself by adopting the same language used to repress and oppress them. Making it their own.
And also, why should we have to? Some of the things on the lists I don’t like, some I do. Other women would like different things, others would dislike different things. Most women would like something on the lists, and some would not like anything on the lists.
BUT WHY DOES IT MATTER?
Why are we being reduced to discussing our likes and dislikes as though it is the only thing about us that matters? Oh thats right, because they don’t want us talking about the things that do.
I like what I like. I don’t care anymore whether those things are popular or not. (Actually I never really did). I like Kylie Minogue and always have, if I could admit that in the 90’s, there was never any hope for me.
But what I ask is that we stop allowing this to happen. We women are 50% of the population and do you know how they have controlled us for so long?
Divide and conquer.
So WE need to stop this. From within. Stop the comparison, stop letting them get into our heads and hearts this way. What would it look like if we started looking at every other woman from a place of love?
Who you are is okay. Whoever and whatever you are and do is okay. We are women. We are all human. Regardless of our likes or dislikes, religions, personalities, mistakes, successes, political affiliations, socio-ecomonic level – we are all okay.
But for the love of humanity, PLEASE, do it with pride and love.